


Piercing Light and Soothing Darkness

by Night_Panther_13



Category: Le Fantôme de l'Opéra | Phantom of the Opera & Related Fandoms, Love Never Dies - Lloyd Webber, Phantom of the Opera - Lloyd Webber
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bathing/Washing, Eventual Smut, Oral Sex, Sex, Shower Sex, Smut, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2019-05-13 20:36:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14755889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Night_Panther_13/pseuds/Night_Panther_13
Summary: Christine tries to escape from her life being engaged to Raoul but Erik cannot keep her forever.





	1. Returning Home

**Author's Note:**

> Basically everyone cries all the time. Which is just like the book honestly lol. Sorry the plot fell apart at the end but it comes together in the other chapters I'm publishing later. This first chapter is kinda long. Again sorry.

I loved Erik more than words could say. Yet, I had to leave him. I had to be with Raoul. I needed the money. Raoul was rich, he could provide me with stability. Oh how bland it seemed to be a countess. It was fine at first. My health had dropped immediately after the whole encounter as was expected. I soon learned they had only found one of Erik’s many white half masks. They recovered the theater and it reopened two months later. They claimed to be "phantom free". That wasn’t the thing that troubled me though. It was Raoul. It started subtly. He said if I was to be his wife I would never return to the theater. All my dreams of the stage were crushed in an instant. The same opera house he was still the patron to. Then it was him insisting I stayed in his family mansion, because the phantom knew my address. He became jealous, greedy, and controlling. The worst is when he got drunk to tune out the screaming in his head. He would come home and beat me. He would force himself on me and I would hide if I knew he was out drinking with his acquaintances. He would get mad that I didn’t trust him and would break things and scare me into submission. Then in the morning he would be in tears begging for forgiveness. He would promise that he loved me and it would never happen again. He wanted me to stay so badly. I was showered with luxurious gifts. He wanted to know where I went whenever I left the house, paranoid that I was leaving him for good. He wallowed in those possessive thoughts. Now I was hiding under the bed knowing he left planning on getting drunk. He said he would restrain himself to help build this trust. I knew better.  
“Christine?” A croaking voice called into my bedroom. The door was wrenched open. “Little Lotte are you in here?” I quaked at the sound of the hiccuping voice. I stared terrified watching his boots move around the room. They approached me slowly.  
“Are your hiding from me?” He growled. “DON’T YOU TRUST ME?” He crouched down and peered at my shaking form under the bed. Roughly he grabbed my feet dragging me out unto the open floor. How I missed the days when his jealousy made him hold me close and whisper loving words to me, now he screamed as he pulled me by the hair.  
“You didn’t hide when he cried and yelled at you,” Raoul lashed out. “No! You cried because you unmasked him. You blamed yourself, yet now you blame me! You love his horrid ways. His terrible face! AM I UGLIER TO YOU THAN THAT MONSTER? It’s you who are ugly, Christine. I must make you as ugly as you are on the inside.” He shoved me up against the wall and moved to slap me. I flinched before he did and his hand closed into a fist. I wailed out in pain and terror. I was shaking uncontrollably. A new bright coldness seeped into my skin. Tears rolled down my swelling cheek.  
“Pity me Christine,” He growled bitterly. “I am mad for you. I love you more than anything. I love you as no one ever could. I will care for you. You have no one but me. I’m all that’s left. Look at me dammit!” He smashed the clear glass near my ear sprinkling the crystal shards over me. My shoulder was covered in thin cuts and I shook the glass off. I had fear coursing through my veins. That burning cold fear in my soul, it seized me completely. I screamed. He clamped a hand over my mouth and yanked my hair forcing me to meet his eyes. Mine were swimming in tears. His face read disgust and he roughly pushed me to the ground. He trudged out of the room thinking deeply. I sobbed, my chest heaving for a long time. The pale moonlight was blinding as it illuminates my distraught form. The shattered glass on the ground sparkled. I could hear down the hall Raoul growing angry with himself. It was too much to bare. I knew he would either turn and get furious with me again or he would fall asleep. I couldn’t risk it, I feared it. I didn’t want to live in fear anymore even if it came with velvet cushions and silk gowns. I slowly pushed myself to my knees and braced myself up. I thought feverishly about things I needed most. I put on slippers as to not make a sound and make my intentions obvious. I thumbed through my clothes and found those which I loved most. I laid them out on the bed and rushed back to get shoes. I grabbed the box I had hidden in the floorboards. It held my most precious items of my father. I had been terrified one of Raoul’s tantrums would destroy them. I grabbed various pieces of jewelry I owned and not those of the Vicomte’s gifts. I loaded necessities in a separate bag and looked at the luggage I had. I was surprised at how little it was. I ran to the bedroom door and locked it. Knowing my fiance held the key I pushed a chair under the door handle.  
“I’m sorry but I can’t” I whispered. “I do not belong to you, I never did.” I slid the pretty ornate ring off my finger and set it on the middle of the vanity. I grasped the two bags and put on a large cloak. I opened the window. No looking back now. I couldn’t think straight, fear drove me. I was terrified. Raoul wasn’t a goblin from the Northern horror stories he was a true monster one hidden in plain view and often praised. I ran across the estate willing my legs to go faster. With invisible wolves at my heels I sprinted along the spongy grass. I soon reached streets I could recognize. I didn’t know where I was going but I moved as quickly as I could. The cool drizzly fog of the night hung about me and swirled with every step. I splashed along the puddles and sprayed mud about. The drizzles became a light shower while I ran. I was fatigued and the luggage was so heavy. I ran too fast around a corner and slipped on the sleek paving rocks. I lay flat on the ground. My breaths made me shudder and I had no will to move. I didn’t hear the man approach me. All I felt was him try to help me up. This blurry dark figure was a threat to me. I was suspicious of everything. Raoul was coming and would never let me go. These comforting arms trying to help and, who were not actually Raoul, held my shoulder.  
“Let me go!” I scream-cried. The tears came hot and face and my hoarse voice shuddered as I screamed. “Raoul! Raoul don’t take me back! Please. Mercy!” I broke free of the stranger’s grasp and was renewed in strength and stamina. I turned the corner and realized where my legs had brought me. The only true home I ever knew loomed over me. I tore up the staircase to the opera house looking over my shoulder feeling someone’s eyes on me. I was paranoid. I ran through the halls wanting to meet any friendly face willing to protect me. I wanted to sing again, to dance, to have my soul be free. My eyelids drooped and I was so scared, so shocked I couldn’t move any longer. I dragged myself down the length of the hall. I look to the door of box five. I was so broken, would he even care anymore?  
“Help,” I begged, barely a whisper. “Erik.”

Being more human than phantom I needed the things of life. I knew a local shop that accepted the fact that some food would go missing and a handsome check would show up that same night. I was heading to that shop to get more wax for stamps when I saw a rather unusual sight. A rather hysterical cloaked lady rushed down the street. She carried two large bags and looked over her shoulder every few seconds. I could hear her breathing quickly and it sounded like she was crying. I would have remained in the shadows had she not fallen. She lay motionless. I feared she had hit her temples and passed out. I ran to her side and asked her if she was alright. She spun around wide-eyed.  
“Let me go!” She screamed through her tears. “Raoul! Raoul don’t take me back! Please. Mercy!” I was startled as she broke free of my grip and ran off. Raoul? The Viscount de Chagny? Could that frightened sickly looking woman with the bruise on her cheek be my beloved Christine? I had only seen her face for half of a second but I could not recognize her through the fear clearly painted across her face. I stuffed the brown paper package in my pocket and followed after her my long stride aiding me. She pranced up the stairs of the opera and I knew it was her. All the ballerinas were told that they should go around the back of the building if they must come after dusk. My Christine had never obeyed that rule. My soul on fire and my head screaming I chased silently after her. Just to see her would do me good, to hear her sing one last time before my loneliness consumed me would be all I could wish for. She ran straight to my box. I don’t know if that was intentional. She slowed to a limp then she leaned against the wall moving slowly. She knelt to the ground and crawled forwards. She was so exhausted and had left her bags behind her as her arms scratched at the floor pulling herself forward. I stood still watching in confusion. Why was she here? She crumpled to the floor her ear pressed to the ground.  
“Help,” Was her beg to anybody who might hear. Her exhausted eyes looked to the door of box five. “Erik.” I hauled up her luggage and rushed once again to her side. She was out cold. I bent down low to hear if she was still breathing. She was. I scooped her up into my arms while slinging her bags across my back. She would hate me for taking her back down into my house by the lake but she needed help, that much was clear. I gently carried her the whole long winding way to the dark cavern. She twitched, shuttered, and whimpered in her sleep. So much had changed since we had parted. The rosiness returned to her cheeks as her sleep made her relax. The wild look drained from her face. I saw little pinpoints of blood on her shoulder and light purple bruise formed on her cheek. I gently kissed it yearning for the story behind it. I laid her down on her little bed with silk sheets. I hoped she would recover from her fainting fit soon. I had settled two things in my mind. I would first ask why she had returned and then I would insist she leave. I loved her still, oh I would never stop loving her but I knew I was poison. She could not stay here. I was rock solid in the decision. She cannot be happy here no matter what I wished. She also has that Viscount to return to. Yes, I cannot let my heart ruin her life again.  
I was pacing in the main corridor thinking things over when I heard loud rushed breathing. I quietly poked my head into her room to see if she had awaken. Panic had returned to her face as she sat straight up and looked around her. Her eyes landed on me.  
“Erik,” Her voice whispered weakly. 

“Erik,” I sighed. I slid out of the bed and practically pranced to him. I stopped short in front of him unsure if I could embrace my saving angel. He wouldn’t directly look at me. Like I was too bright.  
“Why were you running to the opera house,” He finally asked.  
“Let’s sit down somewhere first,” I decided. “I have to tell you everything. Oh how stupid of me to leave in the first place.” He moved silently to the little lounge and sat facing me.  
“Christine you said something about your fiance while you were scampered about in the night’s rain,” He cleared his throat. “What has happened to you? Is countess life more exciting than I know?”  
“Have you ever followed me since the night I left with Raoul?” I questioned. I hoped he had so he would know why I left. I desperately hoped so.  
“No,” He answered sadly. “I have been here. Thinking, waiting for death, wasting time. My music died that day and I have hardly the want to go anywhere anymore. I saw last week’s performance but I noticed you no longer sing nor dance. In fact the only time I’ve seen you in months was tonight while I was out on errands.”  
“Erik,” I lamented. “You sound so miserable. I wished I had come sooner. So cold and distant you are now. Please look at me. See that I too have been miserable. At first I thought that it was the humdrum of stable life, then...then things changed. Or maybe they had always been there, repressed.”  
“What do you mean?” He asked. He longingly stared into my eyes. I could once again feel my soul reanimate. I poured it all out to him.  
“He gets so angry,” I started to cry again. “He can’t stand the thought of me not being controlled by him. He wants this perfect unmoving version of me. I’m not allowed to sing, or dance, or even leave. I’m a doll being re-positioned for parties and dinners then thrown in the corner all the rest of the time. It gets worse when he drunk. Then he does toss me. He breaks things and screams threats at me. I’m worthless. I’m a fool and no one can love me. I’m a demon. He beats me and once violated me. I lived in a fear unknown to me before. I had to escape. It was all too much. You think I got this mark before I fell on the street?” I pointed to my pained cheek. “Oh no I didn’t.” I laughed a harsh cold laugh. I was now hysterically sobbing. I needed to tell somebody all that I had been through these last few months. My angel was willing to listen. God bless him.  
“Please help me,” I begged. “Don’t make me return. Let me stay here. I will do whatever it takes. Let me sing again, feel the sun, feel safe, I want to feel alive again.” He looked so troubled in that half mask. He couldn’t believe a word I said, knowing what I put him through. Or maybe he couldn’t process what I said. There were tears in his eyes too. I was shaking badly now.  
“You need a bath,” He said after a long moment. “You are clearly shaken up. In the morning we will solve all that is taking place, but tonight I will allow you to stay here and collect yourself.” He raised me to my feet and held me in a close hug, consoling me. “Oh Christine. What have they done to you?” I buried my face in his chest and released a loud sob of relief and hope and grief. One of his hands was buried in the hair at the nape of my neck gently massaging. He was so caring and loving. Why had I ever let him go? Why would I betray him? Murder. Well that has long been forgiven.  
The warm water had tendrils of steam coming off it and the layer of foamy bubbles invited me. I had taken off the various layers of petticoats and the skirt I wore. My fingers danced at the laces of my corset. I stopped at the last few knots. What if Raoul were to suspect I ran to the Opera? He would come here and drag me back to that hellhole. To the pit of my despair. I felt like I couldn’t breath.  
“Erik!” I squeaked through the door. I wanted him close to me, to assure me I was safe.  
“Are you alright Christine?” He asked patiently.  
“I-I can’t undo the knot in my corset,” I lied. I opened the door and he lined the door frame. He looked at his feet and blushed. I wasn't even truly undressed yet. He cleared his throat. “Can you help me?”  
“Um ye-yes,” He answered. His fumbling fingers worked the laces free. I was too absorbed in my terrifying thoughts to notice his adorable shyness. I turned to face him.  
“How can you stand me here!” I wondered sadly. “I have done the worse things to you I possibly could have. I betrayed you and tricked you into showing me your face. Then I exposed you for all to see. I denied you. I was ungrateful for all you’ve done for me. I ignored your roses and letters and I left you. I took the thing that mattered most to you and ruined it. I killed it. You said yourself that your music died. I did that. It would have killed you if I didn’t return. You would have gone mad. I’m so sorry. How could you ever forgive me?” I knelt down in front of him and kissed his shoes.  
“No don’t,” He said in a low groan. “I am the monster. You were misled. You made the right choice. I have done far worse. Do not deny that. You did what was right no matter how it hurt me. I was wrong and I thank you.” He was about to leave.  
“No!” I cried out. “No, stay.”  
“What?” He asked startled.  
“Please stay here,” I breathed. “He will get me and take me if you don’t, I will never be free. I will be killed. Stay here and guard me. You are my angel even though you are human. Join me.” I motioned to the water.  
“Christine that’s-you can’t,” He stuttered. “I would see…”  
“I am aware,” I said anxiously. “Please.” I moved towards him and reached for his mask.  
“Please don’t,” He said. He held my wrists.  
“I won’t be scared,” I lovingly said. “I know now real fear. I cannot be scared of your face.” He moved his hands upward and laid them flat against my own. I lifted off the mask and saw the raw beauty beneath. He looked at me sorrowfully. I undid his shirt buttons and instructed him to continue. I took off my stockings and was still shaking with initial panic. He was unclothed and sank into the water. He was lean and strong. His skin was smooth and thin scars lined his back. His face was blushing bright red. I quickly followed suit and lowered myself into the soothing water with a sigh.  
“I love you,” He finally spoke. I nodded my head shyly and leaned my head against his chest. His arms closed around my waist. His legs enclosed mine and we sat in quiet calmness. My heartbeat slowed. He moved one hand on my upper arm soothing me. I turned my neck and kissed him on the cheek. He was so silent. I felt him shudder and it rumbled through me. Hot droplets grazed my shoulder. I spun around and saw him crying silently. That little shaky breaths and watery eyes kind of crying. His pretty eyes were full of clear smooth tears. He looked to the side to cover the deformed side of his face and to avoid my gaze.  
“Erik what’s wrong?” I said quietly. “I’ve been so worked up I haven’t even considered how you feel about all this. Are you alright?”  
“I-I Christine,” He hiccuped. “You’re here and you want me. Me. Please don’t leave me, I can’t do that again. I can’t. It’s dead. I can’t play. I tried, oh how I tried to think of anything but you. It wouldn’t even make a sound. That stupid organ.”  
“Shh,” I chided. I held his face in my hands.  
“It was dead in my mind,” He told me shakily. “Silent. Too cold and unmoving. It wasn’t all silent. I could hear the faint distortion of your song. A sigh of a faraway song. I would chase after it so desperately. For a moment it worked. A quarter of a minute I could hear music. I was miserable, and angry. Angry I didn’t do more to convince you to stay. I realized it’s just me, I’m poison. I thought you were there, I fell down to my knees, I was too slow. You faded. You weren’t there. I was too damn slow and selfish.”  
“Erik no..,” I sighed. “I love you, even then. I was the foolish one and was tired of just scraping by.” I thought he had gained his composure again but he burst a little more.  
“Don’t go,” He begged. “Time is painfully slow. I can’t eat. Can’t sing. Can’t sleep. I’m dying. I hunger but I know food will worsen it. I’m so exhausted. So tired. Let me sleep. Let me sleep before I die. I can’t sleep knowing the music is gone. I can’t fix the music because it won’t work. It just won’t sound. Let me die, Oh God let me die.”  
“Erik,” I said. He was in a sort of trance. “Erik. It’s alright. I’m here, I’m right here. Shh...shh. There is music. Shh we are going to bed.” I tried to stand up but he desperately tugged at my arm.  
“Please,” He breathed. I don’t know what he really was asking for but I moved closer to him and remained there. He pulled me closely to him. He kissed the top of my head gently.  
“You are here now,” He repeated to himself. “It’s going to be okay. You are here. You are gorgeous, beautiful, angelic. You are here with me. You are so soft and smooth and perfect. I could never imagine your full beauty like this. Oh Christine.” He whispered sweet things and lightly washed my arms, legs, and stomach in soapy bubbles. I had not forgotten his needs. I would have stayed there forever but I knew from his story that he needed food and sleep. I coaxed him out of the water and wrapped myself into a towel. He hurriedly changed. I turned around to see him breath in deeply and replace his mask. He relaxed. With the mask he wasn’t exposed. It was his crutch. I changed into a flowy light blue nightgown and took him by the arm into the kitchens. We quietly ate together and I could tell it was a relief and challenge for him. I didn’t judge for my appetite how also changed in these stressful months. Afterward he said I should get some sleep.  
“Will you sleep?” I asked.  
“I don’t know,” He replied honestly. He looked out distantly. “I have a lot to think about.” I looked back at him and thought for a moment. I turned to leave but ducked into his room. I moved about the room inspecting. Dozens of crumpled up sheets of music lay around his desk. Some weren’t music though. They were letters. Beautifully printed letters. I couldn’t even recognize this writing knowing the usual chicken scratch he wrote in. I left them alone and sat down on the bed. I quickly drew the black canopy curtains down and slipped myself beneath the sheets. If he went to sleep I would know. Though he might not want to if he sees me here. My sleepy mind couldn't decide. I sank into the plush pillows. I blinked away sleep and luckily footsteps followed soon after. I shut my eyes and held my breath. The curtain was pulled back and Erik loomed over me. He cried out a soft sound of surprise upon seeing me. He then slowly knelt down and I could feel his eyes burning into my skin. He pushed the hair from my face to see me better. Gently he pressed a kiss to my forehead. He waited a moment then climbed on top me stradling my body for a moment. I could hear his happy little smirk and thought he would call my bluff. He rolled over and lay on the side of bed. I barely opened my eyes to see him. He was not trying to fall asleep. He was staring at the wall motionless. I snuggled up to him, wanting him to open up. I wasn’t going to leave him, I want him to trust me.  
“Christine can you sing for me?” He asked putting his arm around me. “I can’t bare to sleep without hearing you again.” I could feel him warming me up. I slowly sang in a little purr. His breathing grew deeper and he fell asleep gently. I closed my eyes and sleep too washed over my exhausted body.  
I woke up early. I looked about me and remember where I was. I looked up to my sleeping lover. He didn’t have his mask and I clearly saw his face in the candle light. Every beautiful jut and curve. I carefully untangled myself from him and slipped into the other room. I felt hungry for the first time in a while and went into the dining hall. I quickly made light and fluffy hot cakes. Suddenly a heard lamenting wails.  
“Did she see my face? Did that scare her off!” Erik screamed to himself. “I’m a fool! I never should have done that! I’m a terrifying beast! I should have never let her back in! I knew what would happen. Why must I let myself go through this heartbreak again? I’d rather die then know I had lost her again! Why...WHY?” A strangled sound escaped him again. He was quiet now. “Maybe it was all a dream? Why would she ever want to come back to me? Have I fallen so far that I chase after voices and mirages? Stop this torment. LET ME DIE! SAVE THIS ANGEL IN HELL! LET ME DIE!” I briskly left the kitchen and stood silently at the doorway to his room. He was flung on his bed cradling his head. He looked defeated and was breathing heavily. I briskly rushed to his side I threw my arms around him.  
“Erik?” I shook him. “Erik!” He looked up startled.  
“Christine?” He whispered. “Christine!” He straightened up and wouldn’t meet my eye. I pressed kisses to his shoulder for that’s all I could reach with him being ashamed and embarrassed. “I’m sorry...that was dramatic. I’m fine.” I pushed his face towards me. I gently kissed the deformed side and then firmly kissed his lips.  
“Shh it’s alright,” I cooed. He remained limp and ashamed in my arms. I took his hand and dragged him to the kitchen. We ate in silence. When he had devoured his breakfast he watched me. He stood up and walked around to stand next to me at the side bench. He wrapped his legs around me and pulled me up on his lap. I don't know what spurred this sudden courage but I was not complaining. He covered my hands with his and moved them up and down my curves. He soon abandoned my hands and only his own roamed freely. One hand rested across my collar holding me there and the other firmly on my thigh. He began to kiss at my neck. His hand snaked down in my skirt and he lightly touched my inner thighs. I balled my fists holding unto his legs trying to keep myself steady and quiet. His silky smooth lips worked at my collarbone, gently sucking. His fingers reached my panties feeling the wetness. He stopped moving and whispered in my ear.  
“What do you want from me?” He purred. “Tell me Christine, what do you want from your angel?”  
“T-touch me,” I squirmed feeling hot. “Please.”  
“What would your fiance think if I did that?” Erik said a little frown in his face.  
“Please Erik,” I said impatient. His teasing fingers hovered so close. “Just do it for me.” His fingers rubbed and probed gently. I sighed. and moaned at the touch of those cool slender fingers. His lips once again moved softly at my throat. Everything about him was graceful. He slipped a digit into me and carefully worked it in and out. I squirmed in his grasp and he stopped short again. I begged him to continue and he obliged. He curled the finger and made me groan. Pleasure coursed through my veins and I sighed as a second fingered joined. HIs other hand trailed downwards and rubbed at my breast. I was so sensitive and needed his touch. Sensing I was about to burst he quickened the pace and let me whimper and cry out. One sharp movement was harder and deeper than before and pushed me over the edge. I cried out his name. My body shuddered and jerked as he pressed his fingers into my opening and rubbed my clitoris. When I went limp he removed them and held me close. I was still twitching as he silently picked me up and carried my to the little boat.  
“You must go Christine,” He said sadly. “I can not have you here. You belong to them, not me. He will be sober now and sorry. If you disappear now he will hunt you down and find you here. You would be publicly shamed and his fits would grow worse. I can’t help you now. I don’t want you hurt and I fear I am worse than he.” I was weak and my knees shook as he rowed. I couldn’t speak, but I grabbed at the hem of his cloak. He turned to face me but his face was covered in shadow. We reached the shore and he scooped me up in his arms. It was tough for him.  
“Don’t make me,” I begged. “I can’t go back.” He carried me all the way to a carriage. He set my down on the seat and sat next to me. The ride was full of tension. I was begging this unmoving statue to bring me back. He stopped the horses in front of the waking house. I was crying again. I felt so weak and stupid. I thought he was going to force me to walk out alone when his true feelings bared for a moment. He hugged me close to his heart and ran his fingers through my hair.  
“Oh Christine,” He whispered lip quivering. “Say this won’t be our goodbye. Say you’ll see me again. Somehow...some way. I don’t know how..” He let me go and taking my hand slowly ever so slowly led me to my bedroom window. He pressed open the pane and helped me climb inside.  
“B--but what about my things?” I asked. He reached low into a bush and if like magic he held one bag of luggage. It was filled with my clothes.  
“I can’t find the other bag in the time I had. I will return them.” I reached out my hand and pulled him into my room. I showed him the glass shards. He held my hand and nodded slowly. Footsteps in the house sounded loudly.  
“I must go,” Erik said. “I love you.” He kissed my forehead and disappeared without me being able to stop him. He was gone without a trace.


	2. Beneath a Moonless Sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hehe smut...I'm sorry. Raoul had not gotten any better and Christine is still in love with Erik. Erik cannot trust that Christine will love him for him, but how can he refuse her anything.

“Erik!” I screamed. “Erik! I’m here! Erik!” I splashed into the lake drenching my dress and already have dropped all the things I had brought with me. I had done it and this time I would never go back. Slowly ever so painfully slow I had shown off my bruises and cuts. I had stopped covering up me flinching around Raoul. Those closest to him noticed his drinking habits and oh how I hoped they would figure out I had to leave for my safety. That I chose to leave. My dress was now weighted with water. I balanced myself by pressing my palm onto a wall and it fell away. The pressure of water flowing into this newly exposed area pulled me down into it. I fell with a splash into a stone pit filling with water. The wall moved back and I was left surrounded. I looked to the ceiling to find an exit when I saw a grid of iron bars slowly sinking down towards me. I screamed knowing well how this trick worked. I searched for the turning wheel that would save me. I realized the walls also closed in but slower. I couldn’t reach the wheel from here. This cage was not made to test, it was made to kill alone.   
“Erik! Angel! Phantom! ERIK!” I screamed. “Help! Save me!” I shrieked hoping my voice would carry. The ceiling had lowered and I struggled to keep my head above water. I gripped my fingers unto the bars and reached through the holes. As I was forced under the water I saw a shadow move across the wall’s passage. It was Erik! He was feverishly pulling at the rusted wheel. My fingers reached out towards him and bubbles erupted from my mouth in unheard screams. My head felt light and water filled up my mouth choking me. I tried coughing it up but more water filled it’s space. My struggling body made waves in the water and I couldn’t see anything except gray rippling light. The dress was so heavy and was pulling me down. My arms were tired, I was struggling to move. I heard the scratching noise of metal grinding on metal. The wheel turned. My vision blurred as the bars rose. Erik jumped into the water next to me and lifted me to the surface. The moment I broke that glassy edge I blacked out. Oh how foolish I had been. 

She was screaming my name. I knew it was really her. I rushed to the boat and rowed as fast as I could to the shore. Then those joyful adorable shouts turned to screams. I heard a click infamous for one of my disappearing doors. Her screams were silenced instantly. I knew exactly what she had done. I turned the boat through a twisted channel. I rapped my knuckles on different rock bricks. I was granted access and leaped from the boat to the hallway. I ran down the passage and stairs. Upon entering the chamber I saw that more water than normal filled the pit. I hurried to the wheel and ignoring her screams and pulled at the spindles. It had been a very long time since it was used. She was pushed under and I contorted my face while tugged at the wheel. It slowly began to budge. With a grunt it gave way. The moment the bars raised I plunged in after her. I pulled her limp body from the cold black waves. I lay her down on the stone floor and she didn’t move. I blew into her mouth and pressed onto her stomach until she coughed out the water. Her eyes fluttered open and she weakly smiled. I was so stupidly in love.

“Why are you here?” He asked me. “It’s dangerous.”  
“I’m staying,” I said as confidently as I could while lying in his lap covered in cool water.   
“What makes you say that?” He questioned. “Your wedding is tomorrow!”   
“Exactly,” I excitedly chattered. Goosebumps covered my skin. “What a better piece of drama for them. I left because I slowly showed my distrust of him and now I am escaping because I couldn’t handle the pressure. Hundreds of wives leave the altar because of nerves and disagreements.”  
“You clever little minx,” He praised. He kissed the top of my head and helped me to my feet. We made it to his house by the lake where he paced nervously. There was a tension there that couldn't be denied. Whether it was from him forcing me to leave last time or from...something else. He moved and doged my every touch. I was like fire to his skin. In the sitting room I finally managed to trap him. As he sat quietly at the divian I stood in front of him demanding an explanation.  
“It’s nothing Christine,” He assured. “It really is nothing.”  
“Erik tell me!” I stubbornly persisted.   
“What happens come morning?” He asked. “In the light of the morning will you decide this fairytale wedding is right for you? I’m I a tool in a game I don't understand?”  
“Erik,” I said was a sultry smile. “I am yours.” I took his hand and set it on my thigh. “Only yours.” I had found the source of the true tension. His glowing golden eyes looked into mine searching for permission. I was an open book. Those silky smooth lips were tempting. That need rested on him yet he hesitated for me. He let me decide. My lips collided with his and my fingers clasped to his hair tugging lightly. He moved with me and blindly we made it to his room. He pushed me against the wall devouring me. I sighed a moan when the back of my spine hit the wall. His fingers interlaced with mine he pressed himself against me.   
“You sure you want this?” He asked. He ever so gracefully slid the mask from his face. In the dim moonless darkness I ran my hand across the deformed skin. My mouth latched to it and gently pressed chaste kisses to the tender areas. I moved to his jawline and started sucking softly. He responded in a low growl.  
“I’m certain,” I sighed breathily. That was all he needed. He threw me down on the bed. He straddled my body and started again to kiss me. His nimble hands removed my dress and was unlacing my corset. I was rather clumsy as I pushed off his coat and unbuttoned his shirt. He laughed warmly and finished the task for me. My hands roamed and searched his now exposed skin. His lips stopped moving as he broke apart to watch his hands. They carefully drifted up and down my legs feeling the thin stockings. He removed the last of my clothing and I did likewise. He looked longingly at me. The space between us unbearable. Yet the heat of our passion scared us both. He kissed a trail from my jaw to my stomach whispering quietly.   
“I love you,” He murmured. A kiss followed. “Your gorgeous.” Yet another. “Beauty.” Soft lips. “So sweet and soft.” A touch of tongue. “An angel.” Suckling on my breast. I admired all I could see and feel. He was made of marble and had such powerful arms and legs. The way he moved was entrancing. It was like a dance. Bobbing his head to reach another part of skin, gazing up at me, moving his lips, arching his back, and then moving on again. I wanted to reach out and caress and feel him. His mouth reached my hips and I squirmed under his grip. He licked down to the inner part of my thighs. I was weak and needy already. He put his knee there so my bucking hips could get some friction while he readjusted. He kneaded my breasts and smiled everytime I moaned. He moved his leg away and started rubbing with his fingers. My eyes rolled back as I breathed heavily. Suddenly one long slender was once again probing inside me. He knew exactly where to hit this time. A second finger joined in as stars blurred my vision. His fingers curled. My legs started to shake as he moved so quickly it sent vibrations through me. His thumb pressed at my clitoris while his fingers thrust in and out. His other hand held me steady. He was firmly grabbing me by the waist and I was whimpering.   
“Ah Ah AH AH,” I heaved. I was growing so close. He stopped for a second and kissed between my legs. That sent me over. “Erik! Erik, Erik. Hmm. Hnngh. Erik. AH.” I went silent, my mouth a perfect O. He slipped his fingers in and kept going until I was weak. So weak I could barely lift my head for the moment. He slowly stopped. He wiped off his fingers and went back to mapping my body with his mouth.   
“You’re being too soft darling,” I purred. “Where is that fire? Don’t hold back. I’m yours. Claim me. I’m Erik’s.” Being granted permission he became rougher. More mischievous and less delicate.  
“Mine,” He repeated biting down on the base of my neck. He left a purple mark there. He whispered in my ear. “Does that hurt? I didn’t mean it that hard.” I rolled my hips up to him to gain friction. Ah he was adorable but I wanted to unleash that raw passion I knew he had. “You are mine alone. I control your spirit. I can make to soar.” He pressed his hand to my opening as I moaned. “And I can make it beg.” He moved away from me. I whined and scrambled over to him. He laughed a rumbling sort of deep laugh. “I will make you weak.”  
“Please Erik,” I begged. I stroked him through his thin underwear making him shudder. I kissed the dampened fabric. He choked out a moan quickly stifling it. He was still holding back. He loved me. If this was Raoul he’d have had spent himself already and left me alone and gone off to his room. At least that is what he did the one time. The one time I gave into his hands on me so long ago. So rough and brutal. He left me with a mess of his seed and spilled wine. Now I had this beautiful creature of the night in front of me. His beautiful gold eyes desperately searching for acceptance. Not even looking for love. Just acceptance. I wanted to hold him badly. My lithe form broke free from him and I kissed at his hips. He sat back on his heels as the breath caught in his throat.   
“Christine what are y-,” He started. “Oh.” My lips closed around his member. A tight vacuum seal. I delicately licked the very tip and received a surprised gasp. His voice was now husky. I steadied myself, one hand on his hip the other on the inner part of his thigh. He ran his fingers through my hair distracting himself from the growing pleasure. I brought his attention back by running my tongue on the thick vein on the underside of his shaft. I suppressed the gagging sound I made as I took in more. The blood pounded in his manhood and his hips bucked to my rhythm. It was sporatical movements. The heat rose off of him in waves. Not much real heat but an electricity that sparked the world around him. All I could hear, smell, taste, see, and feel was him. The rich enticing smell of him. Heady and heavenly. The salty bitter taste of him was overwhelming on my tongue. The smooth expanse of skin in front of me. His heaving chest and the gutteral noise that resounded in the room were all his. A true angel. I went faster knowing he was close to release. I hollowed my mouth humming, feeling this perfect marble angel twitch under my touch.  
“I-I’m going to,” He breathed heavily. I understood his message. He made a move to push me away and I pushed forward my lips reaching the very base. A sloppy kiss to his abdomen. A hot salty liquid squirted down my throat. I finished him with a wet “pop”. I continually swallowed my saliva wanting to be rid of the taste. I loved him, but this was a bitter taste. Once I couldn’t taste it anymore I looked up at him. He had leaned back on one of the columns on the four poster bed. His head tilted back and legs splayed. HIs eyes fluttered open and looked to the sky. His pupils were wide and glinted. I had never thought a person could look so beautiful when wrecked. Hair disheveled and chest heaving. I kissed at the corner of his mouth gently. He smiled to himself.   
“You are wonderful,” He said. “Beautiful.” I crawled up into his lap as he regained the ability to move more freely. His face grew less red. We weren’t done quite yet. I stroked him lazily, while nuzzling the crook of his neck. “Are you sure you’re ready?”  
“Please,” I begged. I was hot and bothered. I rubbed up against him. He carefully rolled me on my back. A pillow underneath my hips and another at my head I felt like I was lying on a plush cloud. He was again placing delicate kisses to my skin. The head of his shaft rubbed at my entrance. My legs were around his waist. He faced me staring into my soul, gazing at my want for him.   
“Deep breaths,” He instructed. “Ah. Ready. Mmmhh.” He slid in all the way slowly. I gasped loudly. His face contorted with pleasure and breath hitched. He moved again. A steady unhurried rhythm. As I got use to the feeling of him I regained my normal breathing. He methodically raised the speed. A sudden sharp blow caught me by surprise. A sound half a moan half a cry escaped my lips. Instantly he froze and pulled out. I whined at the loss.   
“I hurt you,” He mumbled scolding himself. “I hurt you, I hurt you. Are you alright? Are you bleeding? Such a perfect angel and I abused you.”  
“Erik,” I breathed moaning like. “Erik please just-. I’m not hurt. I’m not. Please Erik just.” I was still panting and jerked my hips upward catching his attention. He steadied himself and reconnected us. The friction began again and allowed me to relax in his embrace. His face flowed flawlessly through expressions of pleasure. The unmarked side of his face looked perfectly sculpted and the other side looked so full of love that it too was gorgeous. I moaned, squirmed, and mewled. An erotic symphony for his ears alone. Deep thrusts sent ripples of a sensual thrill through my spine and connected in little sparks. My slick wetness covered his manhood. His breathing was music to my ears. He placed two fingers to my mouth. I sucked on them gently. I had coated them with saliva in a sloppy wet kiss. The slender fingers took the place of my hand rubbed hastily at my nub of nerves. I twitched and squirmed in this new change. The wanton moans grew louder and less controlled.   
“Christine I’m going t-” He started saying. I cut him off with a deep passionate kiss. Even though his rumbled panting moans echoed around me his mind still knew what it should be thinking. I needed to unleash that pure passion that was in him. That drove him to do everything. An artisan soul. The best musician and skilled artist. I pushed myself deeper into him. I lightly ran my fingernails over his back. He arched his back in a sexy way. He claimed lips and the hand at my waist went back to my ass. He pulled me close and took control. Every thrust deeper and harder than the last. I broke the kiss to gasp for air. My vision was going hazy and white. He growled and pulled me into the moment. He completely possessed me. He slowed for a moment then stopped.   
“Erik!” I gasped. “Erik what? Erik please. Please, please.” He shifted. Sitting with his back against the headboard. He had a look in his eyes.   
“Come here darling Christine,” He saying trying to keep his voice level. I hurriedly obeyed his orders. Anything to stopping the teasing and dodging and for him to grant me that blissful moment. He slipped into me and bounced me in his lap. He held my hips down as I moved against him. I drove him so deep into me that I could see the heavens. We were already so worked up that release would hit us soon. His legs shaky he thrust upwards and I exploded in a frenzy of sparked bliss. He continued moving inside me until I could feel the warm wetness of his release. Then he disjoined us and lay next to my squirming body. I was trembling. The orgasm had hit every right place in me. I was so sensitive. His damp hair stuck to his forehead and his chest moved with each labored breath. We rested in silence for that moment.  
“Christine?” He asked tentatively. “I want this to be perfect for you. Now I know I cannot what I am, but...hmm...Christine you can go wash off if you want. You look disturbed.”  
“I’m just a bit shaken,” I said. I brushed my fingers over him. He smiled and he had that relaxed sensual face that I would follow anywhere. After a few more moments of embracing I too agreed to go clean up. I felt sweaty and a mess. I guess my feelings showed. I went into the bathroom and let the warm water sprinkle over me. 

I heard Christine turn on the water and I lay back. What had I done? What am I doing? My mind told me no. She is not yours for the taking, not yours to give. She can never be yours. Yet my heart answered yes. Yes she loves you. Yes she cares. She needs you? Maybe, perhaps not. But does she say she wants you? Yes. Yes, she does. Her words had blinded me, lips captivated me, and her tightness...she owned me. She had moved from the room in a swaying entrancing way. I tried so hard to put that stone mask on. I tried, what else could I do? My eyes filled with tears. I can’t hide it no more. The puppy eyed kind of adoration. I heard her humming in the shower. Like a moth drawn to a flame I followed. Unbeknownst to me I happen to be stealthy by nature. Considering I grew up in peculiar conditions I can only assume that is how I acquired that trait. She was standing their gorgeous and smooth, soft. Her lips slightly puffy from our previous activities. A purple mark graced her collarbone. Silently I slid the glass door open. She was humming to herself and rubbing soap down her graceful limbs. I moved my arms around her. My thighs outlined hers. I nibbled gently on her ear. She make such cute mewling sounds.   
“Sing,” I demanded. So easily she called upon her graceful voice. I felt at her arse. I placed her hands firmly on the wall and spread her legs a little with my knee. I gently placed myself inside her. She breathed in. “I said, sing.”  
“Erik,” She moaned.  
“Sing,” I hissed in a low voice.   
“Erik,” She squeaked. “I can’t- hmm- I can’t hold myself together. Ahhh. Singing.”  
“Hold yourself together heh,” I smiled against her skin. “Sing or I might just tear you apart.” She moaned at that. I thrust in roughly. “Sing.” Her voice rose quietly. It wavered so much. Her crystal clear sound was now trembling. Every time she stopped to breath or move or just collect herself I pounded her a little harder. She was loving it. Her moans of pleasure increased. I was terrified of hurting her. She stopped singing completely. I pulled out. “Hmmm. Love I think I might have to teach you a lesson. Don’t you?”  
“Yes,” Christine breathed. “Yes.” 

He was so faultless and sexy in the way he stirred my emotions. He had snuck behind me and surprised me in the water. Now he carried me bridal style back to his room. I was barely covered in the thin white chiffon robe. We were still damp from the water. Little droplets clung to his eyelashes. He lay me down on the sheets.  
“Do not move a muscle,” He commanded. I lay perfectly still. He moved about the room and blew out every candle. Then through the faintest hint of light I watched him pulled the canopy closed. I was engulfed in darkness and completely at his will. The golden eyes gazed at me through that darkness. He held my wrists over my head with one hand. The other hovered over my throat. He drummed his fingers over it then moved southward. Soft hands turned me on my stomach. He shuffled around propping pillows under my hips. My rear was in the air and my head rested on my arms. His hands ran up and down my back. Suddenly he filled me. I buried my moans in the sheets. He moved carefully and precisely. I was tired and the world was warm. I was safe. My nerves were constantly tingling. He released again. Bliss overcame me. He pulled out and I was ready to crawl into his arms and sleep. He had other ideas. He placed a palm on the small of my back and held me still.   
“Shhh,” He cooed. “My darling Christine.” His mouth moved against my opening. I was always sensitive after orgasms and this was a new level. My voice sounds high pitched and squeaky to my ears. That talented tongue flicked and licked at everything right. I was being torn from the inside. My stomach burning. He alternated with kissing at my thighs. I was so weak. So submissive and my being was consumed and taken by him. Yet this wonderful torture wouldn’t stop.  
“Erik,” I whimpered. “Stop. Please stop. It’s too much. I can’t. Ahh. It’s so good but.” He kissed my thigh again and agreed to my request. He delicately placed the sheets over us.   
“Are you alright?” He asked. He sounded so concerned. So precious. He tried so hard to make this about me, to make me feel good. He wanted me to feel this safety and warmth and happiness. “I shouldn’t have done that. Any of it.”  
“Erik,” I said. I pressed the side of my face to his chest. Listening to that soothing heartbeat. “Erik that was perfect, you are more than perfect. Thank you.” I feel so easily into a lulling sleep. I felt so calm. 

I held her close and kissed the top of her sleeping head. I loved her. So much. She would be a blushing bride tomorrow. I wish I would be the one to hold her in that pure white gown. I knew my place. To provide this angel with whatever pleasantries and blissful moments she wished for and then let her return to a good life. To cause her no pains. In exchange for her presence I would bear the pain. It was worth it. I am shameful. My own mother couldn't stand to glance at me. How could she? Why would Christine be different? She was scared and left alone. I would not take advantage of her pure heart. I beast like me does not deserve her. I had learned very early that my birth was a mistake to great to bare. I had to accept that all I could ask for was a sack to cover my face. To prevent them from horror. I am sick, awful, and twisted. My mind even more deformed and distorted than the visible scars. She claimed she could love me, but this burden was mine to carry. Tears raced down my cheeks. I kissed her again. I took a deep breath and let her go. I slid out of the bed and got changed. Her bare chest was exposed to the cool early morning air. I set the silk sheet over her. It was the only courtesy I could give. To leave her unexposed. Kneeling by the bedside I watched her sleep.  
“Goodbye Christine,” I sorrowfully whispered. “I love you.” I watched her rise and fall breathing softly. I couldn't even bare to face her, to meet her eyes. My lips and hands quivered. This would be our final farewell. By tomorrow evening she would be married. He would become more sincere and responsible. He would take good care of her. Who knows perhaps he would father her children. A father. A mother. Sweet innocent children. And a good and proper Christine with good and proper friends. Living a good and proper life. My hands covered my face. Salty tears stained my skin and raced through my hands. I sank into the shadows and hid in shame. I could not leave until Christine choose to cross in the boat. I had to wait to know she would be safe crossing the trap ridden lake. Oh Christine. The moments crept until morning sunlight illuminated the room. I was nearly invisible still. I heard her stirr from her slumber. She passed me wrapped in a blanket. It swayed around her and a soft swishing sound accompanied. I wanted to reach out.   
“Erik?” She said to the empty room. “Erik where are you?” She looked so helpless. Confused. She had faith that I was going to emerge any moment and laugh. Laugh. She looked around her panic-like. “Erik. Erik this isn’t funny. Please Erik.” My eyes were swimming. 

“Please Erik.” He had left me. Abandoned me. What if he wouldn’t return? I have to eat, I need to get money and live. I looked to the lake. The boat. He wanted me to leave. Where? The wedding. I was crying now. I couldn’t go back. I can still feel the back of his hand across my face. The cold blows in even colder nights and days. The memories of that man bring me no joy. I could also feel Erik still. The gentle embrace. The soft kisses. I fell to my knees. I was once again given a choice. To slowly die here with the hope Erik would return to me, to suffered and die married to a man I did not love and abused me, or to leave. Establish myself and hope not to be ridiculed by the public and end up destitute. It was a grim choice. Why would Erik do this? I love him. I wanted him so much, to be happy and whole. To sing the music of his soul. I knew the man behind the mask and mystery. The superficial scariness of his face was water under the bridge. I can’t even joke at a time like this. I ran through the rooms searching for him, knowing he wouldn’t be there. I fell to the ground in front of the little boat. My cheek pressed to the cold stone floor. I sobbed in distress. I could feel my freedom torn from me. A blissful night turned into a piercing morning. The shackles weighed on my soul. I was twisted every way and torn apart.   
“Erik,” I weeped. “Angel of music you betrayed me. I gave myself purely. Angel of music come and save me….oh what’s the use of tears. Erik. I love you.” I was engulfed in a shadow. A cloak thrown about me. A warm body held me close.  
“You love me?” A shaky voice whispered. “Do you truly love me, for myself? I can not let you wallow here if I know this is true. It is too much for even a heart as broken as mine....Christine.” I broke down into sobs clinging to him. His pure gold eyes were distorted with tears. Even crying he had that undeniable grace within him. He had never been loved, how could he let me go now? He cradled me. I whispered over and over and pledged my love to him. He scooped me into his arms bridal style. Sitting down at the silent table I was a mess. He wiped the tears from my face. He was a goofy ball of smiles ever since. It was contagious. I didn’t know whether I should be mad at him. He had left me the choice, it was his right to. I nuzzled up to him. He was so perfect and caring. I knew he’d do anything for me. I was mad for him not at him.   
“Do you remember what I said that night I took you from the stage?” Erik smiled shyly.  
“You said a lot,” I laughed.   
“About how I would change if you married me,” He said embarrassed.   
“Ah yes,” I purred. “You wanted a wife like other men, a nice apartment like other men. You were done being a beast, a genius, a phantom, you wanted happiness. To take your wife on Sunday strolls and live in a cute home. You would become as gentle as a lamb.”  
“As gentle as a lamb,” He repeated. His soft lips capturing mine. HIs fingers roamed me freely and soon he scooped me up into his lap still giggling and kissing. He set me down and kneeled down behind me. “Christine?”  
“Mmhmm?” I answered. I spun around to see. He was on one knee and holding a small red velvet box. He opened it up gracefully. A gorgeous ornate gold ring was set amidst white silk. A shimmering clean cut diamond was set in the gold.  
“Mademoiselle Christine Daaé,” He said clearly with a smile. “Will you marry me?”  
“YES!” I shrieked. He had heard the three words this morning and now he knew I loved him. He knew we could be happy. I jumped up from my chair and ran into his arms. Happy tears filled my eyes and I was thrilled. Ecstatic! He put the ring on my finger and embraced me. He spun my around in his arms. I couldn’t have been happier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry that chapter ending was rough.


End file.
